I have so much bloody homework it's fully retarded..........

I have like 100 pages to read in my theology book (becaues I procrastinated earlier...now it's all pilling up)

I took a typing test on the net yesterday to see how many words per minuet i'm at....yeah...i'm at 82. it's gone up since highschool. Crazy eh. Maybe I'll get a good receptionist job this summer. who knows.

I really miss you guys in the 'Peg. I can't wait to come home. Is anyone going to the community meeting? If no one goes can someone grab me the tap made of it??? I would be there if I weren't 10 hours away.......

Kay I gotta jet........chow

So it is later in the day....like....well i have no clue what time it is acutally. anyway. i am having a dilema on deciding which order i want to put these things. they aren't horribly long.....so i guess i'll do the first one first. this one is from a couple days ago...it's the one i mentioned on my other site. here it is:

I'm having a mental battle. On one hand I think that we need to love unconditionally, not at a safe distance away where my boundries aren't infringed, but at a close intimate place. But then on the other hand I feel like there needs to be boundries. I need to be able to say "I need my space" I need to back off. So then the war rages on. Is this my culture that has put those thoughts in my head? thoughts that tell me that it's called "gettin' walked over" "being used" Thoughts that say I have a right to my space. I know that is what this culture promotes....but as a christian i gave up my rights when i said i would follow the ways of Christ. I see the life of Jesus and I see the he always gave of himself...without holding back...yes he used wisdom but he was always giving.

yeah so i realized that this has been something that has been on my mind and bothering me for quite sometime....God choose to reveal just how much i am being bothered with this dilema of interest. This was the class that made me start crying.....arg-ness..... Kay the other one is a bit longer....it just happened like tuesday..or wednesday or something. here it is:

Someone commented that I was in the "bubble" and that was why I was acting and speaking the way I was. It acutally really bothered me for a couple reason that I now see. 1) I hate being predictable, or put in a box. It always has been something that has bothered me. I just extremley, ardently hate being predictable. reason 2) I am actually starting to get defensive over this place. Not eston but just the fact that whether this is eston or not God is still here and is speaking and changing lives in powerful ways. So I think that, even though the comment was a joke (i think), I heard it as a subtle slam against the things God is doing here.
One thing I can say for sure is that beng here God definately causing me to be sensitive once again. He's starting to dawn this realization on me that is really uncomfortable. It scares me because I feel like he's telling/showing me a long lonely road ahead. I see the potential of some of my friends not agreeing and not wanting to come with me. I feel and hear that silent, deep quiet whisper of God asking me if I'm willing to pick up the torch, to accept the challenge that he is presenting before me whether I'm alone or not....

and the war rages on...........

I'm scared of loosing my friends even my spiritual leaders that I respect. I am afraid of them not "agreeing" with me. I have always had a fear of not being understood. In accepting a challenge like this it is almost inevitable that some won't understand...

i will stand for truth. i will stand for the heart and mind of christ. i do not want to be sucked into my tolerant culture. it's gone to far. yes i need to and will look out for the underdog, the outcast the sidelined, but i can not tolerate the things that greive my LORD, because they are begining to greive me. i will be loyal to my friends and my enemies by being love. i will be a woman of prayer. i accept the challenge of being a voice of love and truth in my generation and my culture. i can not stay silent anymore. (funny how i, rach, should say that..)

yeah..........that's that........this i fear is really long..............so........hope yer all satisfied =)

So (alexandra) I like the one liners..........it makes my site look really really weird. hahaha

Hopefully this afternoon I am planning on posting all that stuff that God downloaded in me during that class. You see...if you didn't read anything else on my site I said that there is this one particular class that God has somehow choosen to use as the means of revealing things to me about me. Yup....it never has ANYTHING to do with the class I'm taking or the topic we speak about but yes.....it has to do with me and my heart and the things that bother me and why they bother me........ God is really a funny funny character.

So I need to go.....It is lunch time........I will post later today.

nooooooooooooooo maybe this'll work

We'll see if this works..........

leave me a message someone........

I LOVE CLARK!!!!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!

Kay I think I have a reply box thing...........

Does anyone out there know of any comment boxes or things that I could use for reply boxes.............

I wonder if God at the begining of this semester just looked at the 4 courses I had lined up, said "Okay........hmmmm......well that looks like a good one......sure....that'll do" and then decided on one particular class where he downloads things into me. Remember before how i was saying that I started crying in class because of the things God was sorta showin' me. Well it happened today again without the crying. IN fact it always happens in that class. How deeply annoying. Now...along with the thing I was gunna type before (but didn't get around to it) I have some more to add....I guess I'll do it in installments..........

Do i need to type something in order for the changes to appear.......oivay.........

So welcome to the new site...........sorry for all of the small insignificant post....trying to get things actually working and links running and all that wonderful noise......

So if any html wizards out there *psssst...little bear* know how to get me a "talk to me" little deilo........please let me know.......

So maybe this will be my new home...I dunno

So maybe this will be my new home...I dunno

Yup this is a new site.....wonder if it'll be serve me better

maybe somethings'll change now

does this work??