Saturday, October 18, 2003

pain....The sore......

It is eight fifteen in the morning on a Saturday......oi.
I am playing in a football game at nine.

This weekend is football weekend here at the school... This is a marvelous time where there are around 10 teams that come from all over and we play football all day and the winner gets a trophie. This is with the guys anyway....The s there are usually only like 3 teams if we are lucky so it's just for bragging rights for us. This will run all day ( i think us figee s have three games today...anywho)

I need to go find a hat and then start to warm up cuz i'm in pain and i only practiced yesterday.......
If anyone reads this please pray that no one gets hurt. Usually someone breaks something or really hurts themselves this weekend (even though it's only flag football) Alright....ciao

Thursday, October 16, 2003

i just had the best bowls of ice cream i think i've had in about a year.
you know when you casually mix ingrediants and then all of a sudden you've made one of the best mixes in the world. That's what i did a suppah tonight. I some how made a perfect mix of vanilla ice cream, peanuts, caramel sauce, a few marshmellows and some coconut shavings. Oh my...i am still in awe at how wonderful that bowl of ice cream still my beating heart.

I have so much homeowork to do. Tonight i have many things that i want to do. at 7 is CSI (can't even handle how much i love that show) at 8 is Inklings (a reading group that one of my professors does in his house) and at 9 we are going to watch a couple episodes of Alias (another TV series that i have sadly become attached too) A friend here in town has the the first season on DVD so that is what we have been watching.'s great so far. The second season comes out in December *wink* looks like i'll have something to do for the rest of the year now.....hahahaha.

God has been challenging me so much on so many different areas lately. I am not sure if i have mentioned it on here before but within my degree program there is an intership year that is required in order to complete the degree program. There are absolutley a million options that could be done during that intership year. An option that has been on my heart since last year has been Trekking in Nepal with Operation Mobilization (a program similar to YWAM). There is another friend of mine here that wants to go too so we are semi starting to plan it. We are still just praying about it because obviously it's sadly all about finances and whether or not we are supposed to go. Everytime i think about it my heart really takes quite a leap.

So lately i've been reading up on Nepal, the country, the culture, the people, the government anything really...just trying to prepare myself for whenever i go to Nepal. But it's really been on my heart. And the more i read about it the more i realize that i really want to be in Nepal and even more so i'd really really like to do my internship there. So everything in me longs for this to work out. In the same breath everything in me can picture everything going wrong and i shouldn't get my hopes up. Part of me is grieved because i can see it not working out....and that would seriously make me sad. So i'm trying not to let it take over my mind..cuz that's not cool....i'm just trying to pray about it, i'll pray about forever probably.....*laugh*

anywho....i have a large research paper that i need to edit before all of my prior TV engagements....mmmmmm. Ciao.

Wednesday, October 15, 2003

too much going on in my head to actualy say what i wanna say.
But on a similar note today it was amazing me at how
brutially honest one can be on this thing called 'blog'.

I sit and type normal, somewhat bland words that I see appear on the screen infront of me and yet these words most often times hold my heart, hold my struggles, hold the very demons that i wrestle with.

To some extent it's a bit unnerving knowing that i "bare all" before you guys. It's a tad easy on my part because i can't see your faces, i don't know your reactions unless you, on the off chance, decide to drop me a line. (which i highly encouage *wink*)

So it is with this on my mind that I struggle with typing what is going on in my heart at the moment. It's not as though it is something of profound "aha" moments, but it's just....really......real i guess....i feel like it really is bareing things going on in the deep of me.
I need to go get ready for class.....ciao

Monday, October 13, 2003

pulling back into this little side-lined town in saskatchewan that has just so had the honour of being the place that raised me began to stir odd feelings of confusion. Sitting in the car i realized just how many memories i have in this place, just how many ways that this town is a part of who The Helm is today. That was really an odd feeling for me. It was things i knew before but it just hit me a bit different tonight.

I drove the car all the way to Edmonton and it was so strange to drive that road again. My mom and I used to make that trip sometimes three times a year all throughout my growing up years and so I know that road well.
I get mucho spaced when i drive sometimes...what i mean to say is that driving makes me think and really zones me. So driving up to Edmonton on Friday was funny because as we were travelling ( i has been about almost 5 years since i remember travelling that road last) but i was flooded with memories.

Not just memories of things that had happened in my past but certain places during the trip i'd remember things that I thought when i was a six year old traveling with my ma. The hill that looks like a dragon and the part of road with lots of trees that i used to imagine a bunch of horses and unicorns running alongside of our car, free and gorgeous with the wind blowing through their hair as they run.

It was the stranges thing....having all of these things i used to imagine run through my head...I mean they were so i.n.s.a.i.n. because they were the product of my little g.i.r.l., with the little mind who had such a crazy imagination.....such a crazy imagination.

It's on this note that i return to the dungeon of my room and try and organize things and make them presentable to any who decided to enter.....unpack.....oi.

I probably should have blogged more since i've been up here but seriously the time hasn't come yet.....
I leave this city in about an hour and it's truely a strange thing.
I've had such a wonderful weekend.
It was so incredable to see my family and to be able to spend time with them. I really do feel blessed that i can call them mine.

I don't want to go back because i have so much homework to do and so many things to do. I miss my friends though. It'll be good to see them.

this is definately a blog of low substance....i'm so very tired and IT'S FREAKING COLD HERE....*shiver* I swear i am very rarely warm....ever. no matter where i am.

well i have an email to go and write......ciao