Friday, September 19, 2003

it's amazing how different music can have the power to set the pase to your whole day.
Today is my last day of classes for my mini semester.

it's also amazing at how two weeks can feel like 3 months, i realize i've mentioned that already.
I am just realizing it more now that our mini semesters are winding down and the fact that we've only
been here for, well i've been here three weeks now.....craziness.....

back to the music topic.
i begin this day with the music of Ron smith, Tom Petty, and James Taylor......
mmmmmm......beyond yummy music.
if any of you actually know who those guys are... i commend you.
I mean Tom Petty is like....hero material (familar with the song free fallin'?).....but the others i can understand if you
aren't familar with their music.

It's classic rock but the kind of classic that is sorta jazz, sorta blues, sorta folk....
it's pure genius...

anyway, the atmosphere to my day is just wonderful now....I'm mellow (both from lack of sleep but the music as well),
I just want to play my guitar all day,
But i get to play my djembe today....that makes me happy....playing that drum makes me really happy.

There is great difficulty to keep my eye lids open so i will stop my scattered, random thoughts spewing forth onto this keyboard and find some food to chow down (no wait...i'm gunna go have some tea....mmmmmmm) becaues i missed breakie this morning........

Thursday, September 18, 2003

i'm still really sick but my mini semester is almost over and my brain will have a chance to catch it's breath this weekend.
I had to present my outline for my paper yesterday in class....i was talking about this guy who was going to join the monkhood but instead of saying monkhood i said "monk-ery".....i then corrected myself whilst the class was funny.

God is doing so much.
i mean He is ALWAYS doing so much, but in this season for some reason He is letting me see, feel, and observe a lot of what he's doing. it's kinda cool!

i love how mini semester feels like about 3 months have gone by.....i keep having to realize that it's only the BEGINING of school we haven't even started regular weird.....

I might post later on today, just cuz yeah....God's doin' a lot......

Tuesday, September 16, 2003

kay now it's time for me to spill a weird dream i had last night:

So i'm in this old town, i had returned to it (no it wasn't eston). i am taking the usual tour, walking around the streets looking at these old buildings, remembering, stuff like that....i think my mother was with me during the whole dream.

Anyway the dream shoots forward into the future and I'm very pregnant and very excited. It must have been right about when i was due and stuff. I just remember being so extremley excited, couldn't hardly wait until this baby was born. Then the dream shoots forward again into the future and it's after i've had the baby by maybe two days. I was holding it around in one of those peices of material that makes a sling that you can carrying a child in (i'm sure you know what i'm talking about), anyway. i was walking around, i seem to remember being really busy. I was really excited the my child had come, everyone wanted to know about my child. I was once again in this really old house, 4 story, beautiful old house.

The next time the dream shoots forward my child is almost 3 or 4 years old. I was just playing with her, laughing, ya know...hangin' out. then all of a sudden i have to leave. My mother and and others that were around kept telling me to hurry up, i had to make sure that i was ready to leave. (they were trying to pack my bag for me, i just stood there stunned because the only thing in my head was that i had to leave my child.)
It was an urgent thing, an urgent feeling this having to leave, like it came very unexpectedly. so the rest of the dream was people telling me everything was in order, it was all going to be okay when i left, my child would be looked after when i was gone .In the dream, in my head i wasn't just leaving, i was dying and it was like i was the only one who reailzed that i wasn't coming back,so i was starting to get mad at them because they were being so casual about the situation. I'm freaking out inside because i'm thinking "THIS IS MY CHILD! I CAN'T LEAVE NOW, i am only getting to know her, just starting to watch her grow....i CAN'T POSSIBLY be expected to LEAVE and never come back.....that's UNHEARD OF!"

so i woke up with that feeling of having to leave my child and not wanting too. It is such an odd feeling, it hasn't gone away yet.....dreams are so weird. I don't know why but this feels like more of a dream that is trying to say i'm gunna pray about it today and see if God lets me in on anything. If you guys think you might understand what this dream might all means i'd love to hear it..... ya lots....ciao

Monday, September 15, 2003

one thing that i just h.a.t.e about a tight community is the fact that illness spreads so fast.
there is a horrible illness going around right now....
i have obtained it....i greatly dislike it.

it is so difficult to try and write a huge research paper, write a book report and then do daily assignments when your head is floating 8 feet above your body. I have been loading up on Vitamin C and Tylenol Day Time Cold and Sinus whatever it is and that is probably the only thing that is keeping my thoughts in somewhat of a logical pattern. However i am very light headed and fear walking too fast because the reality of me passing out feels very near........

I have so much to do today......
i think i'll go have some cheeze.