Saturday, October 25, 2003

what a crazy day.
This year at my college is the 60th anniversary year and so throughout the year we are having like "celebration" weekends. This weekend was the first one of those three. Tonnes of people who are a part of this college have come here and we've had walk apon walk down memory lane. It rules.
I have been constantly overwhelmed all throughout today because as i walk these halls i remember the countless (3200 to be exact) alumni that have walked these halls and been impacted by the ministry of this college.
It's so interesting to speak with those few that founded this place, teachers that have taught here, students who have attended here from the 1940's until today.

What an amazing thing.
What an incredably rich heritage we have in the family of Christ.

I got to play guitar while i friend of mine lead some worship songs.
I almost started bawling because sitting in front of me were all of these alumni and it just hit me that i am here because this school poured into them and they poured into others and somehow by the grace of God i was poured into by individuals. I am here because of this school and what it imparted into my mother while she attended here.

It's always been one of my favorite things to look at the year books of my mothers years here. (We are using the same dishes....bahahaha) She graduated in 1978 from this place and i often find myself wondering what her three years were like here. I wonder little detail things like where were there "hang out spots" What was there class like together? What were the things they found fun and the things they valued?

After my friend and I lead a few worship songs it was this time of testimonies. We heard from someone from each decade and then the floor was open to anyone else who wanted to say something. It was absolutley incredable hearing a small peice of the lives that were gathered here. I mean hearing these people, older and older...speak of how they ended up at FGBI, how their lives were changed and how that's translated into their lives up until this day.

God is SO GOOD. It was such an encouragement to see this family speak of how God has been faithful in there lives.
Do you guys see who he is? HE IS FAITHFUL! He works in ways that are far beyond what we think is normal and logical and proper. And as a CHILD of him you all have been placed into this incredably RICH and GORGEOUS and DIVERSE family......HOW COOL!

kay....needless to say God got through something to me today.....
We serve such a cool God....

well i did go to a movie last night and we spent the whole afternoon up in Saskatoon.
We couldn't find Underworld playing anywhere so we went to the next best thing....
k.i.l.l bill.....

i laughed so hard. I mean yes there is lots of b.l.o.o.d but it is like ridiculous b.l.o.o.d, not even close to realilistic at all. Tarantino's brilliance in this movie, his humour....oh my....i was in stiches from the begining to the end.
It is true what i've heard.
If you like Tarantino you'll love K.i.l.l Bill.

I want to tell you so much about it...but i won't.
It's one of those movies that get you after you are done watching scenes flash back to your memory and you just end of laughing.
A dear friend of mine was unfortunate enough to hand out with me right after i came back from the movie and i was a wrecked human being because i kept remembering scenes and then was rendered unable to do anything because i was laughing so hard......
still laughing......
fell asleep laughing......

I have more to say.....
i'll say it later.
i get to go to winnipeg in like two weeks.....
I can't even handle it.

Friday, October 24, 2003

sometimes i wonder why I appreciate the things i do.
For example i really like guns. i think they are pretty.
I don't like the whole "lets kill others with them" idea but i think that they are supah cool.

I have seen the movie underworld and i greatly enjoyed it.
I am going to see it again as a matter of fact as soon as those i am travelling with are done eating their lunch.
I am greatly excited beacuse it has some absolutley beautiful cinemography and i'm such a sucker for that sorta stuff.
So i am going to go now.......
the picture below is Selene...she is the main character in the movie....she rules.

I can't wait to spend a couple of hours with her this afternoon.....
why do i love movies so much.

Thursday, October 23, 2003

SELENE: You are selene!
Beautiful, vivacious,
fierce and seductive, Selene vowed she would
destroy Lycans after her family was ed by
the werewolves. So ruthless is she that selene
is a member of the Dealers. This elite
Vampire warrior class's mission is to make the
Lycans extinct. This 127-year-old
"aggressive hunter of the underworld"
combines a mastery of ancient weaponry with
modern pleasures, such as driving Jaguars and
using computers. However, Selene's ambitions
are suppressed by Kraven. She longs for
Viktor's reawakening so that he becomes the
Vampire's regent once again.

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Wednesday, October 22, 2003

i am having eyeball issues.
what are eyeball issues you might ask?
well it's particially related to migranes.
You see i get migranes. I deeply dispise migranes. When i get my migranes i usually can't handle sound very well and light doesn't make things better at all. So all day i've had many many classes and i just have great difficulty sitting through them because of the light that is in the room. Therefore making my eyes sore.
so right now all my eyes wanna do is close nice and tight and never open ever again. The rest of me isn't tired at all. My mind if fully awake, my spirit is totally alive, the rest of my body is even totally fine, however my eyes are acting like they have been open for three weeks straight and haven't had time to shut yet.
This is what i mean by "eyeball issues".

I have something else to say but i'll say it later......
i sure hope my eyeball issue goes away's driving me banannas.

Tuesday, October 21, 2003

WARNING: this is a novel....aka...that means it's long
In order to write what i want to write about here i feel the need to explain my last post about the raising support for short or long term ministry work.
As you might remember i have been having it on my heart to go trekking in Nepal for my internship with my degree here at my school. This is something that is very strong on my heart. Anyway.....
Every year our school does a program at the end of April called WAT (world action teams) which is a missions trip that you apply for and then as a team go to wherever it was that applied for that year... the teams and places change every year.
Last year i applied for the india team (a country that has been on my heart for around 7 years now) but about a month into it i felt like God was asking me not to go. So i dropped out. Turned out the team ended up getting cancelled anyway.

This second year of mine rolls around and i wasn't planning at all to apply for a WAT team because i am planning for Nepal in two years. In my head i'm going there is no way i'm going to take a missions trip before i go to Nepal...that's just selfish of me. (my heart is very much so in travelling anywhere and too absolutely any country, so any opportunity to travel or do a missions trip my heart is always urgent and quick in the "YA GO!" but i always hesitiate because i think it's selfish.....ANYWAY....)

This weekend has been missions fest, as i explained it in last post.
I have an issue with raising support for missions trips, or ministry or whatever. I was raised with the mind set that I have two hands and a healthy body and therefore because i have the ability to work then i need to work for what i get. I work for the money to go to all of these countries that i want to go too. So the thought of me asking people to fund a "trip" to a country at the end of this year just was out of the question when in my mind my goal is already Nepal in two years.

This whole weekend God has been shattering my mind on this issue. I have always believed, at least a little, that God can and will provide the money if it is his will that i go on any missions trip. I firmly believe that God opens and closes doors.
So as all the missionaries were speaking and as the keynote speakers were speaking God was speaking so loudly too me and really convicted me.

God wants us to be willing to go, wherever, whenever, to whomever. I was willing, but i was limiting God and therefore making myself not willing to go. I was telling God "I'm willing to go anywhere, but only when i raise the money" That's putting God in a box. I was putting my Almighty God in a box.

So this weekend the thing that got harped clear to me was......God needs workers. The harvest is ripe....but God is lacking workers who are willing to go. WILLING NO MATTER THE SITUATION OR OBSTACLES IN GETTING THERE. So i was getting nailed on my lack of faith in God.

If i truely believe that he'll provide exactly what i need when i need it, then i need to step out and apply for WAT.
If i truely believe that He opens and closes doors, then i need to believe that when i step out....He'll do just that....I need to let HIM cross my name off of the list if it's not his will or timing that i go...other than that....i need to step out.
because it means i am willing to be a worker for God, it's making myself available to do whatever he asks of me in whatever context that means. Overseas or in my dorm.
So the whole issue i had with raising money is completely blown out of the water because for me the truth shed light on it. It was a lack of faith on my part.

When i looked at the lists of opportunities for WAT this year two of them jumped out at me. Both happened to be in canada (which really made me laugh because i really have a heart for other nations and it was funny that these two were really the only ones i had any desire to be a part of)
So today was our WAT presentation where they go over the options for this year and as they were talking about it i was pretty much resolved to apply for both of the teams (Cuz you apply for your top three)
ANyway the presentations get to the end and they explain all the trips. At the very end L-Dawg gets up and says something similar to the folllowing " there is one more trip that hasn't been listed because it just came out of a conversation with one of missionaries here this weekend. It would involve working with Muslims in the Arab countries and because this conversation only happend today we aren't sure which country it will take place in yet."

I can't even explain to you how high my spirit jumped. It acutallly caught me off gaurd. Even typing this i just feel God really stiring my spirit.
with the other teams they listed the prices and i was actually comfortable with the amount of money that would needed to be raised for the trips i wanted to be a part of. of course this trip to the Arab countries is considerably much more and it figures that God wouldn't let me off the hook with letting me be a part of a trip that wasn't a stretch financially....I have a feeling that he is going to nail this point home with me.

So because there was enough interest (6-7 people) who wanted to be a part of this trip they are actually going to try and set it in motion.......
sooo i'm in the praying stage right now, i mean...i'm always in the praying stage. But i really do believe that God will close the door to any team that i apply too if i'm not supposed to go.

So it's all about stepping out in faith, it's all about Trusting my Jesus who sees EVERY NEED that not only I have but that EVERYONE has both financially and spiritually and physically. It's all good. It's totally all good.

I don't know whatelse to say....this is a novel and i understand that hardly anyone will read it because of that fact....that is okay
I will stop now........
you know......

Monday, October 20, 2003

there is something seriously wrong about waking up in the morning and it is pitch black in my room. I enjoy the darkness when i fall asleep at night, but when i wake up there is no need for the darkness anymore. I try not to let it bother but it really does start my day somewhat depressing....just those few seconds when you become concious and you realize that you are awake and that it is still dark outside......wrong wrong wrong.
I was not designed for this cold, winter season thing that comes upon us for the majority of the year. Every winter reminds me of it. Every time i wake up and one day it's bright and sunny and then the next day i wake up and it's pitch dark. oi.

i have too many things on my mind.
i have often wondered how one goes about the task of clearly mind space. I also wonder how God expects me to deal with the things he is doing in me, to deal with all my normal regular day to day responsibilities, and then to deal with all the stuff in my head. *sigh*

it's missions fest right now. It's where a bunch of really cool missionaries come to the school here and give little presentations on who they are and what they are about. We have services and just get stirred up about missions.
This usually isn't a hard tast for me considering i've wanted to globe trot since i started breathing. I always feel like i just have tooo many desires. Tooo many things that i want to do and feel like i will do. I have brought this up many times on this blog and i guess recalling all those times makes me realize just how much i actually am bothered but this.

So i am really curious to hear other peoples views on raising support for either a short term missions trip or for a long term or whatever....what are you views? Do you think it's fine and dandy? Do you have reservations when you think about raising support? and why?

Sunday, October 19, 2003

missions fest begins tonight. This is usually an exciting couple of days. We get the benfit of missing classes monday and tuesday and that is truely a beautiful thing.
I have a greek grammah test on Wednesday and that truely is a thing that freaks me out....*shiver*.......oi.......i hope i do alright.
I wonder how many times i can update today...maybe i'll do it a couple more times before the night is over...we'll see.....
alright...i'm off to study for my greek before my choir practice and before the service tonight......
i'm still in so much pain....owie...

hahahahaha....guess what's changed again......
once again i'm throwing this comment out there....

If ANYONE feels that they know me and knows what i would like and happens to stumble across a web page design that is good please let me know....cuz...boy.....i h.a.t.e. changing these things every month.

I get to go to winnipeg soon....YIPEE
*owie...i'm so sore....*