Saturday, June 28, 2003

i have many things i want to say right now.....
i can't seem to find the words for any of them so i will put them off for a while and hope that it comes later.

i am watching volleyball right i love volleyball. when i moved to winnipeg in 2000 i was helping with downpour and working so i didn't really have an opportunity to play any sports. It took a few months before i realized how much i missed playing sports. Until that moment I had been invovled in some sport from the time i was a small child. To all of a sudden finding myself just working, just living....and not being in any sport was a shock

So i go to bible college in '02-'03 and of course play the sports they offer. (this being football, volleyball, and indoor soccer) I remember my first volleyball practice of the year. A friend of mine was coaching and this made me smile because we are like minded when it comes to sports; push hard and play harder. She nearly killed us every practice, pushing us to our limits. I loved it.
I remember standing there catching my breath after running until i was almost throwing up, and i was just overwhelmed with......glee.

Until that moment i didn't realize how much i had actually missed athletics, team sports, and pushing myself for the reward of being the best that I can be in whatever sport i happened to be playing at the time. I thought back to the last two years spent in Winnipeg and was appauled that i didn't find a rec team to join. That I didn't pursue this deep love of athletics.

Now as the summer is speeding by so fast and I am faced with the return to my home town, the the bible school I start to get excited. I start to think about the classes that i am taking and how exicted i am to take them. Above all I get excited because i GET TO PLAY VOLLEYBALL! as well as football and soccer......and i'm going to start a basketball team....because i love basketball and we should have a team.....

Anyway......the point of this all was just to let you out there know that i love volleyball. i really love volleyball. like really really

Thursday, June 26, 2003

has anyone discovered the new layout in the blogger world?
I like's nice Very nice Blogger.....very nice.

So because Blogger was redesigning their look i haven't been able to blog. Well i tried yesterday but it was that has been a damper on my mind because i've actually had something that i wanted to blog about. Everytime i sit down to blog i always seem to not blog about this one thing that has been on my mind for a while.

You know something has got to change when everytime your bed time rolls around you want to do anything but go to bed because going to bed means that you have to arise in the morning and face your job. I wish i didn't hate my job so much. Today was especially hard because i've had a growing migrane for a few days now and that puts SUCH a damper on ANY day; no matter what job you are facing every morning.

I work with this lady that talks constantly and loves me very much. This provides a small humours joy to otherwise long days. I remember being little and thinking that all old people loved God and have loved Him for many many years. It was such a blow to my reality when i realized, that truth was not true. Everytime I run into an older person who doesn't know Jesus it always shocks me.
So back to this lady i work with. I don't think i've ever met a woman over 50 who swears as much, is a sick minded as much, and is just constantly blows me away everyday. She is a riot though, she acts like she's my age and I can't emphasise enough the fact that she is CONSTANTLY talking.

So i might be getting a job at starbucks. I really hope that it pulls through for two reasons. Firstly, i really really really miss making coffee. I am greatly looking forward to that opportunity alone. Secondly, i might be working with two people that i know. THat would be fun....
I am freezing...i am going to put a sweater on......

Monday, June 23, 2003

i really enjoy the luxury of have monday's off. i think that if i worked at my place of employment for 5 days in a row i'd probably want to walk in with a rifle one day, (which of course i would never do...)
i don't understand how i can always find crap jobs. i'm not some sort of idealist who is expecting everyone where i work to like me or too find a perfect boss that is just longing to throw money my way, i mean of course that would rock should i ever stumble across it but, no, i don't really expect it.
The boss i work for now is like the authority figures i had at domo......*shiver*
needless to say, that's not a good sceen.
I am planning to stick with this job because i am having an issue with being a lazy typical young person of my generation. i have no desire of bouncing from job too job. Not only will i not make any money doing that, but it's irresponsible; to me anyway. I have a huge desire to be a responsible person, to be seen as someone who finishes what they start, who works hard etc. I understand that i am always going to find something to "complain" about, i will always find some reason to leave if i am looking for it.
One of these days i wish that I could actually work in a job that pays what it's supposed too and is my heart, something that i love to do.
Somedays i wonder if i'm asking too much. I wonder if I'm expecting too much out of life. I know what reality is, i know i live in reality. I feel like i can hear so many people saying "come back to reality rach" when they read the above. Why should i stop from dreaming of something better? I mean i completely understand that there is a balance that needs to be the thing that holds you back and motivates you....
whatever....i'm not even making sense to myself anymore.