well what to say. So many words are struggeling to find their place in either my journal or on this blog, neither providing the space needed i guess. This year is going to be quite a ride i must say. I truely hope that I can stay here (even though everything in me wants to run away) I know God is good and I know that He has things in His hands, so i'm trying not to worry and trying not to freak out like i usually do in situations like these.
Our mini semester starts on monday and i am really excited. I don't know if i've mentioned it but i am taking a course called "Celtic Christianity" and It's really going to be quite an amazing course......the teacher that is teaching it is really so it's going to be an absolutley insain two weeks but well worth the work. i am excited. teehee
last night in chapel i was just overwhelmed with this helplessness that i feel. I mean i am in a leadership position, I have my own walk with Jesus to try and walk with integrity, and I have just other life responsibilities and obligations to adhere too. I just bawled b/c i felt that there was absolutley no way that i could carry it. I just can't. i can barely stay afloot in my own Journey with Jesus let alone anything else life throws at me....hahaha.....so it was a good but frustating night.
I realized that I really do expect nothing but absolutle perfection from my life and that is something that has swamped me even before i begin the tasks infront of me. So i'm trying to learn not to hold such high unattainable expectations for myself, but i know this is a life process and I know that Jesus is my strength and hiding place when i'm weary and frustrated.....it's just the learning how to run there that is what i have to get through my thick head.
So that is one of the many things that i think God is trying to deal with in me during these 8 months.....hmmmph....i hope i can make it through......;^)
I am waiting for someone to bring me back a cheeze burger from McDicks......i hope that they get here soon cuz i'm TIRED and want to go to BED!! Alright..i'm gunna go now....ciao
Our mini semester starts on monday and i am really excited. I don't know if i've mentioned it but i am taking a course called "Celtic Christianity" and It's really going to be quite an amazing course......the teacher that is teaching it is really so it's going to be an absolutley insain two weeks but well worth the work. i am excited. teehee
last night in chapel i was just overwhelmed with this helplessness that i feel. I mean i am in a leadership position, I have my own walk with Jesus to try and walk with integrity, and I have just other life responsibilities and obligations to adhere too. I just bawled b/c i felt that there was absolutley no way that i could carry it. I just can't. i can barely stay afloot in my own Journey with Jesus let alone anything else life throws at me....hahaha.....so it was a good but frustating night.
I realized that I really do expect nothing but absolutle perfection from my life and that is something that has swamped me even before i begin the tasks infront of me. So i'm trying to learn not to hold such high unattainable expectations for myself, but i know this is a life process and I know that Jesus is my strength and hiding place when i'm weary and frustrated.....it's just the learning how to run there that is what i have to get through my thick head.
So that is one of the many things that i think God is trying to deal with in me during these 8 months.....hmmmph....i hope i can make it through......;^)
I am waiting for someone to bring me back a cheeze burger from McDicks......i hope that they get here soon cuz i'm TIRED and want to go to BED!! Alright..i'm gunna go now....ciao