Saturday, September 27, 2003

i just watched centre stage again.....
it makes me wanna take up jazz dancing again.....
maybe i'll get on that.

Friday, September 26, 2003

what a wonderful afternoon i've had......*sigh*
it all started when i thought i had Philosophy class, then to my utter amazement i realized that it's friday afternoon.
what does friday afternoon mean?
it means NO CLASS!
that's right folks...i didn't have class this afternoon...not only this afternoon but EVERY friday afternoon.

so, walking back to my dorm i realized that because this sudden realization of no class crept up on me i hadn't thought through all the things that i needed to do or get on top of homework wise. I reached my room and started at the mess that had been accumilating all week.....started to clean i did......i am i supposed to do homework when i don't have an organzied room......

after about 15 - 20 minuets of cleaning (and vacuming) i pulled out the paintings that i had done last year. (the one during chapie and the one during Sr.High and another one that i just started but never really finished) So i'm staring at them and I'm like I'm going to paint this afternoon.

Paint i did.....
i always forget how wonderful it feels to paint....i mean....i just love it. It's usually so exhausting to even get to the place where i would paint because it's just such a struggle, a battle, of my mind and just sucks

anyway...after i painted some......i discovered that i had a hunger in my belly (it was like 3 pm or so) SOOOOOO i made some of my favorite food in the whole wide world......EASY MAC!!!!!
man alive i love easy mac....mmmmm

that was my afternoon....there is more to come tonight...i may watch a movie or something....who knows.
until next time...

Thursday, September 25, 2003

i feel all whiney today.
i miss you guys in winnpeg
i miss going to church there
i miss living with my two beautiful roomies
things are good here.
classes are going great.
I am so priviledged enough to have teachers at this college that are so passionate about the things they are teaching us. The atmosphere that is created when that is present is so wonderful, so powerful. When they teach you just are aware of the Holy Spirit in there lives, in their words, in their's so cool.

I'm lovin' Greek class....i have entered the "fog" of learning a new language. Too many verbs and nouns and case endings and dipthongs runnin' through my small mind it's all gettin' jumbled together. When i take notes now in class (for my non greek classes) i have to stop because i can't remember which letters are the greek ones and which are the english's frustrating.

God is really working on me. How do i know? Well i am shutting down. My system gives up. I am trying hard to resist and some days i do well, others i don't....but it's a journey right? right.....
one that is seemingly ALWAYS on my mind and heart is that i have TOO MANY DESIRES THAT I LONG TO FULFILL.
I am aware that i am a human and can not do everything...i am fine with this.
But in the same breath I realize that i serve a God where ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE. Even if that means somehow accomplishing all that my hearts longs to.
soon is inklings....
go i will.....

Wednesday, September 24, 2003

Kay i need a new comment box....this klink family stuff is driving me insain-o.....

the exciting...and slightly pathetic news in my life is that I can say the Greek alphabet backwards but I still can not speak the English alphabet, MY MOTHER TONGUE ALPHABET, backwards......

this both made me giggle quite uncontrollably and groan because it's so pathetic.....

*in song*
I'm a Greek geek!

there will be more to blog fails to be the time...

Monday, September 22, 2003's due time that i sit and write something on this page. Today was the first day of "regular" classes. Now the craziness of figuring out if people are going to drop their classes and pick up new ones of if they are going to stay.
Today was my packed day, i had three classes and a bunch of other stuff surrounding them. I'll say more about my classes at a later date and time.

I was sifting through some stuff that i brought with me and of course stumbled across some "scribbleings" that i had written while at work the summer before i came here to FGBI last fall. I thought i'd share them with you, WARNING they are ruff, random thoughts that i dwelt on as i worked my job (domo) that i really couldn't stand.
They haven't even been edited since the day i scribbled them down a year hang on......hahahahaha.....
I've p.r.o.s.t.i.t.u.d.e.d my heart time and time again.
I needed love; I needed someone to hold me.
I was so desperate and discouraged that I
settled for cheap substitues.
Why couldn't I find your love? Where didn't I look?
Did I not bow down low enough?
Did I let to much creep in?
Did I let myself go in return for substitues one to many times?

Here I am crouching low, knees against my chest,
the fear as a tide tip toes closer....
At the same place I seem to be at so many times in my life,
I'm drowning in this fear.
I am unaware of my next move,
incapable of making any move at all.
What if the next step I take is the wrong one...
I want to find His path and not drift farther into this tide.
Somehow in the middle of all of this I know that He's here;
He is near......

Unable to feel or see Him; I know nonetheless that His eyes are on me.
Terrified and frantic i reach out in this darkness, my hand shaking
as it searches the floor.
I know He's near... I know it.
I know He is the only one that can help me here.
I am determined to find Him even if this darkness gets the best of me.

Attempting to convince myself that this darkness is all bark and no bite,
I start to believe that I can overcome this tide of fear, I can find the way back.
Knowing that He's here feels like the freashest of water splashing over me.
one too many times I lost sight of Him,
one too many times I gave myself away
and now it is so hard to get back on my feet.

I believed the lies that were offered before me,
I choose to dine at the wrong feast.
I see where I have stepped off of His path.
I was under the impression that I was on a well kept path,
but it was barely managed, never trimmed.

Now I am simply lost and so very afraid.
I don't know how far away I am, how far away
from Him I've slowly wandered.

My mind refocuses on the darkness...the fear.
and yet......a smile......dances across my face.
I know He's been smiling at me the whole time,
He has been smiling because i stepped out,
not to better my position,
rather i stepped out in search of Him.
well.....that's that.....
it's horrible grammer...even typing it out i was all like "ewwww...that's awful" but nonetheless it captured something i was going through the summer of....oh let's see....when was it....ummm......2002. Whenever it was that i worked at Domo..i don't remember.

how was that ride through my mind.........muhahahahaha.