one thing that i've always loved about winnipeg is their embrace of the fine arts.
the jazz fest is on right now and there are awesome live acts happening all week.
down at the old market square for a few nights is free live music from about 6-ish too midnight-ish and tonight i checked out some of the amazing artists out. makes me realize how much i really love jazz and blues....i can hardly handle it.
i really miss working in the exchange district. I miss the atmospher down there, it's a wonderful area of the city.
i have more to say but i'm too tired....i'm going to bed...i'm not in the mood to watch SNL tonight.

well i could write about a few things.
as much as i don't really want to admit it, this whole "blogger" response war that my little star trek blog has brought about has been on my mind, a lot more than i think it should be. since i was a small child i've always found myself the peace maker either between friends, relatives or whatever.....
I do believe that this is why this is getting to me so much. I know all three that are involved, they are my friends. So too see the misunderstanding all around sort of gets to me. i mean i understand each of them and where they are coming from and I have my pretty good guess as too why they are responding the way they are; both to the blog and to each other.....
but because they don't know each other....they don't understand the comments being made.....this is usually a simple common misunderstanding that usually happens over html when strangers communicate.....
I guess my "whatever" with this situation is simply that it is leading to a lot of hurt, added bitterness, and offense...on both sides....and that's what bothers me.....why can't we all just get along!!!! bahahahahaha

whatever....i'm just venting i guess....
i really need to get my ass in gear....
I really like typing....thankfully my mother passed along to me her amazing typing skills...most days i am surprised at how fast i can type....i love that feeling.....i think very fast....i'm always stuck in my head. So to be able to think and have my fingers type my thoughts at almost the same speed....IS WONDERFUL!!!!
i'm so happy i have a djembe....teehee

well at the end of my "work" day i had one thing to blog about.
by the time i walked in my front door i have now TWO things too blog about....

I GOT A DJEMBE!!!!! i have been absolutley feeling like i NEED one since this last semester dawned on me. Soooo on my way home today i decided to stop in at a couple music stores just to see what they had (i so was not intending to buy anything). Push came to shove and in the second store i was visiting i feel in love with a djembe that i saw....soooo i bought it. i'm excited. i'm happy. i am very happy.

so my mother and I moved in with my grandma after my grandpa died in 1992. We lived in that house till the day i graduated. My grandma most definately played a parental role in my life, i was only 9 so i was still pretty little. My grandma had cancer and we sorta of watched her die over the period of a couple of years. She was taking kemo but quit because it just made her feel worse. That last year and half before she died was really hard. Just watching her get weaker and weaker, eating less, getting skinny, sleeping more, finally being bed ridden, hardly seeing her, wondering how close she was to dieing, wondering when it would happen, the feeling for months and months that it could happen any day. It was just a long, drawn out pain. Then when she finally died (1998) i was just finishing grade nine, of course it just all sorta of came to a head. I was a bawling wreck. I couldn't go to school for a week, i couldn't focus at all. i had totally lost someone who was like a parent too me... it was crazy hard. all of her children (my aunts and uncles) were there and so that was awesome.

Anyway...time went on...life moved on...of course. And i thought that I wasn't that much affected by it. I mean i mourned, i totally had a time of greif....but then life went on as always.
Today i was cleaning a house and there was this elderly woman obviously bed ridden, she was sleeping. As soon as I saw her this feeling just welled up in me. it is obvious that there is something about my grandma's death that I don't really have "dealt" with, or whatever....but the whole time I was cleaning that house...i could not go in that room with that woman. I could not go in there. Just seeing her in that bed, a cat and a dog on her bed with her (They have incredable sense when humans are in need, especially elderly and when they are dieing...they cling to that person refusing to leave) so seeing all of that....was just so difficult....like surprisingly difficult.....

It was crazy....anyway......
happy news now.....
I GOT A DJEMBE !!!!!!

i really like star trek.
i am very thankful that i have the ability to watch star trek very often this summer.
star trek: the next generation....ahhhh
star trek: voyager....mmmmm
i would LOVE to join starfleet acadamy....