well....i FINALLY have a job interview. One place out of the around 30 resumes that i dropped off decided to phone me. I only hope that they will like me enough to hire me. I realized that i have such a complex. I was raised in the belief that I work for what i get; in regards to material things and money. I have two hands, i have been blessed with a mind that works and is able to work wonderfully under pressure, i am healthy and strong....therefore I am able to work for my living, any money i acquire, anywhere i want to go. This mindset has been getting chizzeled down by God more and more and i am slowly coming around to the fact that i need to depend on God in the area of finances, something that is very difficult to do being a memeber of North America.
So like i was saying, these past two weeks have been hard on my little mind b/c it's challenging me to trust that God will provide work for me so that I might be able to return to school. Student loans are a whole other issue that I am not going to get into now, involves a whole other blog.
So there is this huge ....what's the word.....issue I guess that has arose in my life this summer. It involves a very large, very important descision that is very hard to decide. It affects so many things but ultimately i just want to be where God wants me to be. I don't want to do it my way, yes I might like one way over the other, but I am sick of doing it MY way, I don't want to be in control. I am trying to be still before God....trying to be silent.....trying hard not to be impatient but trying to trust that God will guide me. That is so difficult. When I think about one end of the situation I think of all the logical, practicle aspects.....and it doesn't logically seem to work out...so then on my end it looks impossible that it could ever work out. But if i learned anything from God asking me to go to eston for school i learned that when God runs the show things that seem impossible or absolutley daft seem to be how He likes to run things....so in the back of my mind i know this looks crazy but i can see it happening just from my experiance with God so far in my life. To be blunt it scares the shit out of me.
I have rambled too long......I just hope that my interview tomorrow goes well.
I hope that i might be transformed by the renewing of my mind so that I might then test and approve the will of God - the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.
So like i was saying, these past two weeks have been hard on my little mind b/c it's challenging me to trust that God will provide work for me so that I might be able to return to school. Student loans are a whole other issue that I am not going to get into now, involves a whole other blog.
So there is this huge ....what's the word.....issue I guess that has arose in my life this summer. It involves a very large, very important descision that is very hard to decide. It affects so many things but ultimately i just want to be where God wants me to be. I don't want to do it my way, yes I might like one way over the other, but I am sick of doing it MY way, I don't want to be in control. I am trying to be still before God....trying to be silent.....trying hard not to be impatient but trying to trust that God will guide me. That is so difficult. When I think about one end of the situation I think of all the logical, practicle aspects.....and it doesn't logically seem to work out...so then on my end it looks impossible that it could ever work out. But if i learned anything from God asking me to go to eston for school i learned that when God runs the show things that seem impossible or absolutley daft seem to be how He likes to run things....so in the back of my mind i know this looks crazy but i can see it happening just from my experiance with God so far in my life. To be blunt it scares the shit out of me.
I have rambled too long......I just hope that my interview tomorrow goes well.
I hope that i might be transformed by the renewing of my mind so that I might then test and approve the will of God - the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.